I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
