She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
