I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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