Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
