i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
