the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize