the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
