Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize