"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
