i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
