is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
