i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
