At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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