Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
