i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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