Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
