Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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