I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
