took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Randomize
