it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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