Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
