why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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