I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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