i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
