i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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