Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
