Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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