did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
