Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Randomize
