new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
