so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
