if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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