I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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