I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
