We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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