oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize