I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
