This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
