I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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