a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I showed him my bush... on skype.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
