4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
