I wannas sexs uuuuu
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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