When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize