can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
sex in a hospital.. check
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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