He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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