Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
