And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
