EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
