She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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