There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
