I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
