Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
