fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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