the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize