After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
