What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
