I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
