How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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