no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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