I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i've created a new STD.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
